What NOT to Crochet for Dad

Father’s Day is quickly approaching, and everyone wants to get Dad that special something that says they care. Hand-made projects are usually a great way to show you went the extra mile and spent many long hours crocheting something special, just for him – but I might I suggest a few projects NOT to crochet for Dad?

 

Men's Beachwear from the 1970s - source unknown.

Men’s Beachwear from the 1970s – source unknown.

These 1970’s beach fashions for men appear to be made of a worsted weight yarn – think of the sand that would get stuck in the fibers, not to mention the heat! I feel especially sorry for the guy wearing the ripple stitch poncho – I’m think I used to have an afghan just like that.

 

Granny Square Pajamas - Source unknown.

Granny Square Pajamas – Source unknown.

Don’t get me wrong – I love a good granny square. These are not good granny squares. They appear to be made of worsted weight yarn and a small hook, given the tightness of the squares. Granny squares can make beautiful clothing (Don’t believe me? Check out Granny Square Wear), but this – this is not such an example.

 

His & Hers Vintage Vest and Sweater Pattern - Source Unknown.

His & Hers Vintage Vest and Sweater Pattern – Source Unknown.

It’s mostly the colors that date this pattern so much; a more monotone version of this crochet pattern might not be so bad. This was likely made with sport weight or worsted weight yarn and a small hook – and way too many ’70s colors!

 

Ripple Stitch Zig Zag Stitch Pants

Ripple Stitch Pants. Source: Etsy shop LordvonSchmitt.

These pants were upcycled from a vintage ripple stitch crocheted afghan (also known as a zig-zig stitch) and sewn together by machine – see the seam on the inside of the leg?

 

Crocheted Shorts - Source Unknown

Crocheted Shorts – Source Unknown

These crocheted shorts have been circling the internet for years, often attached to the phrase “Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.” I tend to agree.

 

Men's Health Vest with Briefs - Source and Vintage Pattern at The Vintage Knitting Lady.

Men’s Health Vest with Briefs – Source and Vintage Pattern at The Vintage Knitting Lady.

This vintage pattern from the 1940s includes instructions for the “healthy” vest and briefs. I’m not sure why it’s healthy, though it may have something to do with the breathable nature of the recommended fine weight cotton yarn.

 

Crocheted Pants.  Source - Designer Sn. DJ

Crocheted Pants. Source – Designer Sn. DJ

These pants seem to be made with a bulky weight yarn and therefore a large hook. It seems like the crochet bit is sewed onto the front of the pants, serving as decoration and not as part of the structure of the garment. While they have a cool sort of vibe, I don’t see many dads in them.

 

If you did want to make any of these items (As a joke, right? Right?), most of them could be made using the following:

Maggie loves Dreamz wooden crochet hooks for almost every project. They work great with a variety of yarns.

NM068666-home-cotton-grande-solids

Most of the “fashion” items in this post seem to be made with worsted weight yarn. Premier’s Home Cotton yarn comes in solid variegated colors, so you have plenty of choices!

Still need ideas for dad?

Try these these quick and easy crochet patterns from Maggie’s Crochet.

mc-6-box-infographic-fathers-day-free-patterns

 

LA75358 celebrity crochet slouchy beanies

 

 

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